Phoebe's Songs

A Few of My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses
and rabbits and kittens
Bluebells and sleighbells
and something with mittens
la la la la la la something with string....


Blackout

New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La-la-la-la-la-la...


Cremated Mother

My mother's ashes,
even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jar
And sometimes when it's breezy
Or when I'm feeling sneezy
And now I...


Snowman

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...


My Coma Guy

You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have go to say...


Babies

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry...


They Found Their Bodies

And they found their bodies the very next day
They found their bodies the very next day...


Double-Jointed Boy

He was a double, double, double-jointed boy


When I Play

When I play I play for me
I don't need your charity!


In the Shower

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backward is nirget. Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat


Smelly Cat

*Chorus*
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses


Stephanie

Stephanie knows all the chords!


Terry's a Jerk

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!

(time passes by)

And you're all invited to bite me!


Two of Them Kissed Last Night

There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real.

(time passes by)

Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide


Barnyard Animals

Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Noooowwwww chickens!


Don't

There'll be times when you get older
And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do


Bi-sexuals

Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
Then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la-la...


Smelly Cat

Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

*Repeat Chorus*


Crusty Old Man

...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas


Endless Love (Duet with Chandler)

(Chandler) I’ll hold you close in my aaarms.
I can’t resist your charm. And loooove....
(Phoebe joins in) Looooove...
I’ll be a foool for youuuu. I’m sure, you know I don’t mind.
(Chandler) No you know I don’t mind.
(Chandler & Phoebe) And yes! You mean the world the world to meeee. Oooh...
(Chandler) I know.
(Phoebe) I know.
(Chandler) I’ve found.
(Phoebe) I've found...
(Chandler & Phoebe) in youuuu, my endless looov...
My endless looove....
looove....
love....
(Chandler) looove
(Phoebe) love
(Chandler) looove....


Jingle B*tch

Jingle b*tch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell


Sticky Shoes

My favorite shoes so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night
Not much light
I stepped in something icky

*Chorus* Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Always makes me smile
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Next time I'll avoid the pile


Crazy Underwear

Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear...


The 66 Colors of my Bedroom

...fuschia and mauve
Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom


Dumb Drunken B*tch

...dumb drunken b*tch!!


Parading Goats

Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats.


Paper Maché

(three snaps)
I, I'm still waiting for my paper maché man


My Sticky Shoe

My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, baaay-bay?


Tony Tarzan

Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...


Holiday Song

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!


Little Fetus

Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas


Little Black Curly Hair

I found you in my bed...
How'd you wind up there?
You are a mystery
Little black curly hair
Little black curly hair
Little black, little black,
Little black, little black,
Little black curly hair


Two Heart Attacks

It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won't do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala...


First Time I Met Chandler

First time I met chandler
I thought he was gay
but here I am singing
on his wedding daaaay


Whenever I Get Married

Whenever I get married
Guess who I won't ask to sing!
Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!!!


Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony

Who's gonna perform the ceremony?
Who's gonna perform the ceremony?


Thought Phoebe Would Leave

We thought Phoebe would leave
But she just stayed and stayed
That's right, here all night
And Chandler will never get ****


Argentina Song

And there’s a country called Argentina
It’s a place I’ve never seen
But I'm told for fifty pesos
You can buy a human spleeeeen
Human spleen!
Olé!


The Woman Smelled Like Garbage

It wasn’t just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like garbage!
Everyone!
It wasn’t just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like gaaaarbage!
Classy huh?


The Food Here At Javu

The food here at Javu...will kill you!
The food here at Javu...will kill you!

(Monica) Oh thank God, I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
(Phoebe) You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic's not going to overuse itself.

All lyrics and the songs links arcan be downloaded from http://www.friendscafe.org/fp/sounds/phoebe/lyrics.shtml