Wednesday, August 18, 2004

SMS marriage in 75 days

This is the true story of Himali and Kishor Saitwal (aka Saitya, Dada, Diddya). Kishor and I are best friends. We were together in undergrad at VIT, Pune. Kishor is currently at Colorado State University at Fort Collins where he is pursuing a Doctorate in Electrical Engineering. Send a congratulatulatory note to Himali and Kishor at: kishor_saitwal@yahoo.com
To visit Kishor's web-page, please go to http://www.engr.colostate.edu/~saitwalk/
The following contents have been taken from Kishor's web page at : http://www.engr.colostate.edu/~saitwalk/Marriage.html



Movie: SMS marriage in 75 days (Based on a true story)
Producer: Kishor, Himali
Director: Ashutosh
Story: The script was not ready until the end
Starring: Kishor, Himali, Amit, Ashutosh, Akka, Varsha, Anuradha, Himali’s family
Special appearance: Ashutosh, Anuradha
Guest appearance: Sonali, Nitin, Eric, Vinod, Vaishali, Samyak, Neel
Music: Samyak-Neel Lyrics: None (unique hindi drama without songs)
Genre: Drama, Thriller, Comedy, etc…
Recommended Audience: Mature (not for people like Amit Shah)
Released on: August 17, 2004

This is a story of a wonderful couple that came together for the lifetime in the span of 75 days. It’s about me (Kishor) and my better half (Himali). The story begins on a sunny afternoon of 30th May 2004. There was this marriage fair organized by Jain community (30th and 31st May 2004) in Pune (my home town) where highly educated guys and girls had gathered together to choose their spouses.

Let me give the background of both of us before continuing with the story. I am currently working for my PhD in Electrical and Computer Engineering Dept. at Colorado State University, USA and will graduate in next 6-7 months. Hence on paper, I will graduate in May 2005. By that time, I will have a full-time job in my hands. Therefore, my basic intention behind looking for the girls during my India visit in May 2004 was that if I had liked any girl, I would get engaged and would get married in May 2005. Secondly, I was looking for the girl who was not very career oriented and was homely. On the other hand, Himali comes from a very small village (Pimpalner, Dist. Solapur) and has a post graduate degree with B.H.M.S. degree to start with. She has been working with ICU’s at two different hospitals in Pune for quite some time now. Obviously, she was looking for a person who would let her continue with her career. Also, it was difficult for her parents to wait until May 2005 for her marriage and on top of that, they didn’t want to get her married with an Indian residing in USA. Therefore there were major problems in the basic requirements of both of us.

Getting back to the story… On 30th May, my elder brother (Ashutosh) and my mom (Akka) saw Himali in the fair and told me that we should talk to her and her parents. She was the very first girl I was going to talk to, so I was little uncomfortable at first. But I had also liked her, so I did not hesitate much before we talked to her. We shared my expectations in that meeting, but soon realized that Himali was a doctor and she would not be able to do anything in USA. Although we didn’t get to know her expectations, we thought that this proposal was not going to materialize. However, I had realized that she was somebody special. Hence we asked them to think over the proposal and get back to us on 31st.

As I was one of the very few guys from America, I was one of the most wanted guys in that fair. Hence a lot of girls and their parents were approaching me for both the days of the fair. Although I was not interested in talking to few of them, I had to talk to them for at least some time and Himali thought that I had talked to her just like any other girl. Hence on 31st, she came to me and asked me if I was okay with the height difference we shared (I am 5’ 11’’ and she is 5’ 0’’). The way she asked me was so innocent that I thought that she might be THE ONE. I told her that I didn’t really bother about it and that I give more importance to inner beauty than the outer one.

During the fair, I had short-listed 4-5 girls. I had talked face-to-face to all of them except Himali. Hence I called her up on 1st June and asked her out for lunch. We met each other in “Trishnaj” (the place we will never forget). In that meeting, she told me that I was the only person she had liked in that fair. She was actually feeling bad when I was talking with the other girls. She also told me that she was ready to leave her career and was ready to wait for me for one year before we could get married. In that meeting, I realized that my wavelength had matched with hers like no other girl before. It was some weird feeling and I can't express it in words. But that time, I was thinking little too practically and didn't know if I should ask her to compromise on so many things for my sake. Also I didn’t want to take any decision in haste, as she was one of the very few girls I had seen for my marriage. Hence although I had liked her a lot, I didn’t give her any firm answer.

After our meeting, Himali kept telling her family members to at least see me once before taking any further decision. However, nobody supported her saying that I was little too overqualified for her and that I might not be interested in her. The basic reason for them not to take any interest in me was that I was an Indian residing in America and they had heard few bad cases when some hopeless Indians already had one wife in USA and got married to another girl from India.

I looked for few more girls in the next few days, but realized that Himali was THE ONE. Meanwhile, a guy named Amit Shah came into Himali’s life and without much deliberation, her family members got the two of them engaged on 9th June (the marriage was to be held on 24th Nov.). Himali didn’t have much choice but to agree with her family members’ decision. However, I was always there at the back of her mind. When I called her up on 11th June, she asked me why I didn’t give her any firm answer, so that she could have convinced her family members. At that time, I thought I had lost her, but I could not take her out of my mind.
After a lot of thinking, I called her up on 16th and asked her if she would like to break her engagement and marry me. (I knew it was not a right thing to do, but I didn’t want to lose her.) On that, she said that she could not spoil so many lives at the cost of her own. I really appreciated her mature ness, but realized that she was still badly involved in me. At the end, she said that she wanted to meet me for the last time before I left for USA.

We met on 18th (again in Trishnaj). The meeting was an informal talk and we just shared both of our mistakes. I also got the feeling that she was not very comfortable talking to Amit and that two of them might not be compatible, but I had now accepted the fact that she was somebody else's property. However, she handed few greeting cards to me, while we were departing. I was totally shattered after seeing them. They had no love messages, but were plain cards saying that she was sorry for what had happened. However, I was not stupid enough not to get the intended message.


When I showed those cards to my brother, he realized that it was indeed a serious matter. So we met Himali on 19th June. She bluntly said that she would like to marry me rather than Amit, but could not do so, as the matter had gone out of her hands. I asked her if she would support me in case I did something. However, she said that if I did anything, nobody from her family would support her. Her mother would ask her to leave her job and go back to their town. And they would get her married to Amit only. No good would have come from my actions. So I thought that it was better to stop thinking about her.

However on 20th night, Himali told Amit about me when they went for a movie. She told him that she had liked me from the very beginning of the fair and had no feelings for him. However that immature guy didn’t get the hint and was not willing to accept the fact that both of them would not be happy if they ever got married.

On 21st night, when I was on my way to USA, I just called her to say good-bye and she told me the incident she shared with Amit. I asked her if I should talk to Amit, but again she said that nobody would support her and she would have to abide by the decision she had taken. I thought, that was the end of the story and I started accepting the fact once I got back to USA.

However, Himali called my brother up on 27th and told him that she could not take me out of her mind and she would still like to marry me. So I talked to her on 28th night and she told me that she would talk to Amit and his parents on 29th afternoon about her feelings, if I supported her. On that, I replied to her positively. Meanwhile, Himali asked her mother if she could marry me. As expected, her mother didn’t agree with her and took Himali with her to Baramati (where Himali’s elder sister stays) on 29th morning. As a result, she could not talk to Amit and his parents on that afternoon. On 29th evening, Himali called me up and told me (under pressure) that she had to marry Amit.

On 29th night, Himali tried to convince almost all of her family members, but in vein. Hence at the end of the conversation, she convinced everybody that she would marry Amit so that she could keep working until her marriage and hence could come back in Pune on 30th morning. On 30th morning, I called her up to talk to her, potentially for one last time. I told her to try and understand Amit before they got married. Also we decided not to talk to each other anymore. That would have helped us to forget each other. At the end of the conversation though, I told her that I would wait for her until she got married!!!

I tried to convince myself by saying that whatever happens, happens for good, however I kept thinking about Himali for most of the time. I talked to few of my close friends (even my PhD advisor) and almost all of them were convinced that I was madly in love with her. Everybody kept suggesting me that I should elope her “if” she would support me. Hence I tried to call her on her cell phone again to check for that possibility. (By this time, I was willing to do anything to get her). However, she had changed her cell phone card and I didn’t have her new contact number. As a result, we didn’t talk to each other for almost three weeks after 30th June.
Meanwhile, Himali tried to convince her family members again, but in vein. Finally on 20th July, she sent one SMS to me saying that she didn’t know how she would forget me in her life. I replied back to her saying that she was running away from the reality and that she should let me talk to her. She took two days before she showed her willingness to talk over the matter. On 22nd July, I called her up and asked her directly if she was willing to marry me. She was affirmative on that. I also asked her if she would remain firm on her decision (I was really scared about the consequences if she had reverted back after this). Her reply on that was convincing enough for me. Hence I told her to try and act normally with her and Amit’s family members, until I saw her.


On the same day, I told my brother about what had happened. He talked to Himali to check if she was indeed firm on her decision. Once he was also convinced, he got the marriage date of 31st July (with the auspicious time between 1:15pm and 3:45pm). He contacted the lawyer who conducts such marriages and got all the information about how the marriage can be performed without any problems. I booked the ticket for India so that I could reach Pune on 30th morning. While boarding the plane, I was thinking whether I was doing the right thing or not. I was really scared with the consequences if she had reverted back, as my career was also at stake. Once I reached Pune, I met Himali; we bought a Sherwani for myself (her purchasing was already done) and then chatted for a long time in one of the isolated restaurant. It was a wonderful feeling to be with her. I had a girl friend for at least one day and I didn’t feel like leaving her on that day.

On 31st morning, almost everybody from Himali’s family called her up (as if they wanted to clear the path for the marriage ceremony). The lawyer had booked the hall for us, where everybody showed up at 1:30pm. There were not more than 10 people for our wedding (including my immediate family). Obviously, there was nobody from Himali’s family. My brother, Sonali’s husband Nitin (Sonali was my undergrad classmate), and Himali’s roommate (Anuradha) signed the papers as the three witnesses. (I really appreciate my brother for supporting me wholeheartedly in this and Anuradha who was the only support Himali had.) Once the marriage ceremony was over, we went to the court and got the marriage certificate in our hands at around 7pm. I cannot explain the relief I had once I got that certificate in my hands. On 31st evening, I called up my other family members and informed them about the marriage. Everybody was shocked to hear that I had come all the way from America to get married in a court. It was an interesting and mixed reaction from all of them.

And here comes the climax… Himali called her parents up in the night and told them that she had got married. At first, nobody believed her, but when she said that she already had the marriage certificate and had shifted to my place, her mother started screaming at her. She was really pissed off. However, Himali’s father accepted the fact really quickly and even talked to me in a normal way. I invited him and his family members for the “Puja” (prayer) that was held at our place on 1st August. He said that it would not be possible for them to attend, as it was a shock for them and they needed to decide the further course of action before they could face the society. Although - he said that - Himali’s younger brother would make it to the “Puja”.
The “Puja” was held from 11am to 1pm. Surprisingly; everybody from my family was present for that ceremony. I was really happy to see all of them. Although they didn’t agree with my decision, they were happy for me. That meant a lot for me. In the meanwhile, Amit’s family members got to know about our marriage and started calling Himali on her cell. However, she was told not to receive any of their calls until her parents had settled the matter with them. After the “Puja”, we enjoyed a wonderful lunch together.


On 1st evening, Himali’s parents called me up and said that for the society sake, they had to get us remarried in front of their relatives and friends. We were really surprised to hear that reaction from her side in such a short period of time after our marriage. We were thinking that her family, being a well-reputed one in Pimpalner, would disown her.

We went to Pimpalner on 2nd night and stayed at Himali's place. At first, I was little bit scared to go to the small village during the night, but the hospitality we recieved from Himali's parents was unexpectedly good. The (re)marriage was held on 3rd August at Kunthalgiri (3 hours from Pimpalner). Again it was a short ceremony with a small crowd around. There were not more than 20 people from her side.

Now it was just a matter of patch-up between the two families. Himali’s parents came over to our place for lunch on 5th August and went to Amit’s place that afternoon to return everything they had given to Himali. When they saw Amit’s behavior on that day, Himali’s parents were really happy with Himali’s decision. They got to know that he had lied about his occupation and earning. Also he was really arrogant to talk…

After going to our relatives’ places on 6th and 7th, we went to Lonavala for a short and sweet 2-day honeymoon. Finally, I boarded the plane back to USA on 11th morning. I cannot believe that everything fell into place and we could still give some time to each other in the span of 12 days. It was 12th August when I reached USA and it was the 75th day after we met each other for the first time. I was still feeling like I was dreaming, but I trusted my instincts and everything happened in our favor. When we looked back to our affair, we could not categorize it even in love marriage, because we had hardly talked to each other face-to-face. The spark was created when Himali SMSed me on 20th July, hence the name of the story.

Himali still needs to get her passport and visa done before she can join me in America. It will take around 3-4 months. But I am happy that now she is mine and nobody can take her away from me. We are willing to wait for this time before we can get together again for the rest of our lives. We stayed together for 11 days after marriage and I realized that initial apprehension when I boarded the plane on 28th July was non-sense. We started loving each other even more after our marriage, because we actually think alike and I know that we are made for each other.
Although it’s the end of my story here, this is just the beginning of our lives. I would say that this is a wonderful example, which tells that anything can happen even in real life, if you are firm and true to your decision. So just trust your instincts and go for it…


Cheers…

From Himali and Kishor.

1 comment:

Sameer said...

Oh man! ... that was something!! :-)

Convey my heartiest congratulations to Kishore and wish him a happy married life on my behalf!!